Cathedrals will fall, the river will run red... and THE BIRD will be SLAUGHTERED!

REVIEW: Malafafone

– By MovieCritic NextDoor

Since this was the first thing I wondered about, Malafafone means cucumber in Hebrew, so there’s your Fun Fact (TM) for this review right off the bat. I’m again reviewing a micro-short film, so with just two minutes to work with, writer / director Jono Freedrix keeps things very simple. A woman (Lesley Shannon) is preparing to meet someone special for the first time, getting dressed up while her goldfish (Dog — yes, the fish is named Dog) watches placidly, because what else can a goldfish do?

Then she sees an ad — one of those “Try This Simple Beauty Tip!” sorts of ads that you can find all over. As many ads do, it makes her worry about something she’s probably never thought much about before. And by the time she opens the door to her special someone (Andy Baldeschwiler), she’s taken the ad’s advice to an extreme that would be laughable if it wasn’t also so terrible.

While the film goes far beyond any normal beauty regimen, the farce also carries a timely warning — there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look one’s best, but it can be all too easy to find yourself going much too far in that quest. This film adds a horror twist to that quest, but the societal pressure to be prettier, thinner, and better dressed is always there, making us wish things were really as simple as the ads would have us believe. And if we get caught in a weak moment, anyone might end up trying something they’ll regret — just not nearly as much as this woman does.

Watch Malafafone for yourself right now, below:

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