REVIEW: X-Men: Apocalypse

Clocking in at almost two and a half hours, this is certainly time I’ll never get back in my life.
The latest instalment in the (younger) X-Men franchise is such an awful experience it’s hard to put into words without sounding like a total prick!

With a story that could have been written on the back of a beer-mat, we pick up after the dreary ‘Days of Future Past’ and now have our youthful heroes facing off against their supposedly deadliest foe ‘Apocalypse’ (Oscar Isaac) in what’s basically an overblown CGI mess.

Listen, I’m not too familiar with the story arc of Apocalypse, but I’m guessing it’s not what’s on show here as this is truly pathetic. I don’t have to give an in depth description or go into every detail because summed up its X-Men Vs Stargate. There’s such a lack of originality, everything presented has been done and done to death. Set pieces lack purpose, they’re clunky, silly and completely have no width on the screen at all, you can clearly see everything is done against green screen and studio based.

This is completely lazy filmmaking at its best. Bryan Singer for me has gone backwards as a director since initially jumping ship on his original franchise. His first two X-Men films were excellent, but the lure of greater things came calling in the form of ‘Superman Returns’, which the less we say about that the better. Singer was a promising up & comer who gave the world ‘Keyser Soze’ and ultimately cemented himself in folklore, but since coming back after a lengthy hiatus with ‘DOFP’ and now ‘Apocalypse’ Singer has certainly lost any mojo he had. He’s now directed four of these films, but Mathew Vaughan still smashes him in every direction with the fabulous ‘First Class’. What Vaughan tackled with his interpretation was the issue of class, character development wrapped in a political action-thriller. Vaughan got all the fundamentals correct and this is something Singer clearly struggles with. Singer just repeats shoddy, generic CGI effect after another and does nothing innovative and runs out of ideas.

What really is a shame is the array of talent on display. (McAvoy) tries his best with the awful material. (Fassbender) looks bored shitless and only semi-performing probably of contract. The addition of the brilliant (Isaac) on paper should have worked, but even he can’t help matters as he’s a purple-painted snooze that will whisper you to death! Having an Oscar winner in (Jennifer Lawrence) has diverted her character to top of the tree, she’s now the main character throughout because of her selling status. Talented and gorgeous as she is, this shouldn’t massage the script for the sake of who’s hot right now?

There’s another cameo from (Hugh Jackman) as Wolverine, that’s becoming as familiar as Stan Lee’s segments. As nice as it is, it’s absolutely pointless.

Considering the huge backlash ‘Batman V Superman’ received this year and most of it probably deserved, it’s by far a superior movie to this and that’s saying something. The money it’s cost to fund both BVS and X-Men could feed a small country, but at least with BVS there were a few redeemable qualities or at least something to work with, X-Men has nothing redeemable and has gone backwards. It’s right up there with Brett Ratner’s forgotten masterpiece.

I knew it was over once the look-a-like Golden Gate Bridge got hatched in half.

I’ve no doubt X-Men: Apocalypse will do well at the box office and won’t dent the careers of the actors involved, but this isn’t good enough I’m afraid. If this franchise is to continue Singer needs removing immediately as he’s stifling it creatively.

Both X-Men and Civil War had similar budgets, but you’d never know it. Whereas Civil War is stunningly epic, spectacular and wonderful use of CGI, X-Men looks amateurish in comparison.

Ok you may think I sound like a prick after this review, but I dare you to pay your money, watch it and two and a half hours later I guarantee you’ll feel the same!

Review By- FOLKLORE.