Cathedrals will fall, the river will run red... and THE BIRD will be SLAUGHTERED!

REVIEW: Witch Hunt

– By MovieCritic NextDoor

At this very moment, a town somewhere is overrun with witches and is in desperate need of help. Or possibly they don’t need help at all, since in Witch Hunt the witches that have overrun the nameless town aren’t all that bad compared to the local sheriff, for example. They don’t really seem to have overrun the place, either, given that there’s maybe a dozen of them.

Let me back up a little. Why it happens is a little vague, but a brother-sister team of witch hunters, Dominic and Agatha Damarus (Richard Chandler and Carver Riot) have just arrived in the aforementioned town. They’re helpfully labelled, with each of them wearing a leather jacket that says “Witch Hunter” on the back. Probably everyone just thinks they’re in the same biker gang. Anyway, they claim the local priest, Father James (Graham King) asked them to come, but he doesn’t know anything about it.

If there’s a decent person in this movie it’s Father James, but he’s still got issues. He’s lost his faith, for one thing, and since this reached a crisis in the middle of an exorcism it was a pretty dramatic loss. The possessed girl has since died, leaving Father James struggling with guilt. Meanwhile, the local sheriff (Tony Ramos Wright) has made it his mission to harass Father James about everything from the dead girl to the fact that Father James is gay. So is the sheriff, but he hates himself just as much as he hates any other homosexual, so I guess it works out? His name is Tormada. Not Torquemada, just Tormada.

Oh, and there are some witches. They sacrifice a guy early on, but as far as I can tell their body count is nowhere near that of the witch-hunting siblings, or even the sheriff’s. The leader of the witches, Morrigan (Lilith Astaroth, an eminently suitable name for the role), makes a lot of creepy threats and laughs far too much, but at least she’s up front about her evil. There are a lot of vile people in this town, so singling her and her coven out seems a little harsh. I don’t know, maybe the witches caused the vile people somehow? The film is less than an hour and feels awfully rushed so it’s hard to be sure about some of the details.

In other words, the movie throws you into the deep end and doesn’t do a whole lot to help you out. There’s a lot of random sex and violence if you’re into that sort of thing, but not a great deal of plot or even much witch hunting except at the very end. Before that Dominic, at least, seems to get along with the witches perhaps a little too well. Of course, he also gets along with his sister a little too well, if you see what I mean, so maybe that’s just his way. The entire movie is more a series of vaguely connected scenes than anything else, and scenes that are often on the gory side to boot. But if you’re into suspending all your disbelief and settling back to watch a sexploitation horror flick that sometimes feels a bit like a western, you’re all set.

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