Cathedrals will fall, the river will run red... and THE BIRD will be SLAUGHTERED!

REVIEW: I Love Lucy

– By Dale Saxton

*Contains spoilers!*

Our current landscape of short horror films is rich and varied. You could search ‘Horror Short’ and get stuck watching films ending with a cheap jumpscare for hours.

Filmmakers have been discovered through these means and gone on to box office success in Hollywood. David F. Sandberg being the most notable example after his short Lights Out (Well worth a watch if you haven’t seen it) went viral.

However, there are films that desire nothing more than to tell their own story, in their own unique way. Satisfying a niche that might not even exist until an audience discovers it.

ILL_2I Love Lucy is one of those films. Starting as a sickly, sweet Prom King & Queen cliché and ending in a dismembered cock and skinned faces.

We meet our pretty girl protagonist, Lucy, fawning over pretty-boy, Rex. We know this story. But this time, it felt like a tongue-in-cheek version of the typical high school romance. It’s funny. It’s an interesting dream-like version of. The sets feel like sets and it works in its favor. A lot of effort has been put into the production value, which paid off in its pink pastel hues that felt uncomfortable, fake and fitting to our main character, the future prom queen.

I enjoyed the tone during the first three-quarters, if a little uneven at times. Caused partly by the high school principal who bullies her own students to the applause of the rest of the school. It felt unnecessary, ill-fitting. I could see it was a comment on falsity of character, but it just didn’t work for me. It was humorous in a Troma sort of way, but probably a little too much, too soon for the story and pay off, which we’ll get to.

The first half overstayed its welcome once the initial nod & wink to the typical story was wrung dry. However this could’ve been my taste, as I’m not a massive Troma fan, and it felt very much in that vein.

After the announcement of the prom King and Queen, (Rex, the pretty-boy, nicey-nice Boyfriend & our main character, Lucy, still acting weird, shy and shifty) they end up in the bedroom, looking to go ‘all the way’. Just as they’re about to kiss Lucy chloroforms him. Rex wakes up tied to a chair.

ILL_3Lucy begins to rant, sinisterly, about everything being fake and starts to undo Rex’s pants. She questions his skin and says she knew he wasn’t like everyone else. So, just like that, she rips his cock off. Apparently, to show him his skin isn’t real.

It’s a sucker punch twist that would’ve worked better if they played the first three-quarters even straighter!

Then we see that rather than blood squirting out, carnation petals emit from the wound. They end up peeling the skin of their faces revealing carnations underneath. I was rather impressed with the make up work and also the creepy sound work of Rex’s maniacal laughter!

It’s an interesting little short with an uneven tone, that could get to the punchline a little quicker. I could see this going perfectly before a Troma film screening on Valentines day!

Read Michael Sellars’ review of Zach Lorkiewicz’s The Cheerleader Trials HERE!

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The Triple Six Horror Film Festival 2017 announces its full line-up for May 27th and 28th at AMC Manchester.

Triple Six is a new international film festival that aims to celebrate everything that is great in new independent horror filmmaking. Showing 9 features and 12 shorts over two days at the AMC cinema complex in Manchester, Triple Six has films from around the world while also having a British backbone throughout.

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